Kristin Parker

I wake up at 4am
World still dark and everyone’s asleep
My feet pad along the floor
Don’t need to see to get around

Quiet corner in the big old chair
The faint light of a distant lamp is my companion
Shivering under my blanket
Get out the phone and try to work

Coffee doesn’t wake me up anymore
Life’s stopped teasing me
A ghost in the shadows
Will I ever sleep again?

Sun rises, don’t nod off now
Make breakfast, wake the rest
Gotta keep moving or I’ll keel over
How many do this when none of us should?

Coffee doesn’t wake me up anymore
Life’s stopped teasing me
A ghost in the shadows
Will I ever sleep again?

Everyone expects a smile
I’m just trying not to run the light
Lunch time is my darkest hour
Gotta walk or else I’ll collapse

Coffee doesn’t wake me up anymore
Life’s stopped teasing me
A ghost in the shadows
Will I ever sleep again?

Coffee doesn’t wake me up anymore
Life’s stopped teasing me
A ghost in the shadows
Will I ever sleep again?

Hood up, face down
I walk the streets like a neighborhood threat
What you don’t see is what’s deep inside of me
The part screaming ‘True!’ hidden behind the lies

I am the miracle
The savior without a cape
For my being
Hits you like a lightning strike

Step fast, neck tight
I’m trying so hard, can no longer hide
This volcano breathing inside, lava trickling
I’m a time bomb, ticking louder year by year

I am the miracle
The savior without a cape
For my being me
Hits you like a lightning strike

Don’t look, don’t see
We’re an army of bio mechanical robots
And I can no longer help breaking free
Be struck by lightning and see yourself

You are the miracle
The savior without a cape
For your being you
Makes our world a better place

Bills piling up
Can’t stop eating can you now
Mommy needs some money
Daddy needs some money
Gotta dress my kids first and foremost

Money ‘scapes me
Can’t hold on
Gotta let go
To make it come back for more

Working day and night
Kids don’t see me anymore
And when they do always on my phone
I know exactly where I went wrong
Believing in the good of the world

Money ‘scapes me
Can’t hold on
Gotta let go
To make it come back for more

Money, money, money
The slave we all succumb too
For richer, for poorer
For better, for worse
Illusion paper torn to pieces

Money ‘scapes me
Can’t hold on
Gotta let go
To make it come back for more

Make it come back for more

Make it come back

You’ve always flown
Too close to the sun
No one could reach you
Not even me though you said so

Now you’ve left footprints on the moon
And the world has taken you over
A piece of common property
You bathe in the light they shine on you

I’ve always remained
In the shadow of your dreams
Proud to be your home base
We only grew apart

Now you’ve left footprints on the moon
And the world has taken you over
A piece of common property
You bathe in the light they shine on you

We were never one
I thought we could become
Now I see my own mistake
I don’t blame you for the way you live

Now you’ve left footprints on the moon
And the world has taken you over
A piece of common property
You bathe in the light they shine on you

My light to small to give you meaning
I’m not angry but I’m sad
I never told you that I look to the stars like you

Now you’ve left footprints on the moon
And the world has taken you over
A piece of common property
You bathe in the light they shine on you

Left your footprints on the moon
I have yet to leave mine here

By the time I see the morning light
I’m so exhausted, could be evening for me
Shadows under my eyes, limping feet
I can walk so far but I’ll never get away

Your mornings are my evenings
And my evenings are another job
Never off to a fresh start
Just another moment forced ahead

By the time you see the morning light
I’ve already got a day behind me
A thousand decisions, a million words
Can’t stand brain rot, mind already fried

Your mornings are my evenings
And my evenings are another job
Never off to a fresh start
Just another moment forced ahead

By the time they see the morning light
I can’t smile anymore, have to put on a mask
What should be joy downgraded to performance
Pulling up the muscles in my face just hurts

Your mornings are my evenings
And my evenings are another job
Never off to a fresh start
Just another moment forced ahead

The world is passing by outside the window
A way of life unbeknownst to me
I’m the odd one out, stranger ‘cross the street
I see the things that they rush past
I feel the things that they silence all the time

When they toss and turn at night
I’m the one who reads their worries
They don’t know they have a place to land
I’ll keep holding as much as I can
My feet are trembling when I try to stand

I’m the master of the universe
Not because I’m grander
Just because I care
Something so common, so rare
I master their own universe

They go about their day, feels all hazed
Think they’ve no control, slaves to the unseen
Don’t know why they’re so afraid to use
To harness what is theirs, learn and grow
Gotta step in, cannot bear to leave them there

I’m the master of the universe
Not because I’m grander
Just because I care
Something so common, so rare
I master their own universe

I’m the master of the universe
Not because I’m grander
Just because I care
Something so common, so rare
I master their own universe

The spark did not kill me
I warmed myself by its fire
Believing I’d be wrapped in love
The signs were there and I ignored
Thought I was too picky, choosy, needy
I didn’t see back then the way I do now

One look at your face and I know
You don’t really love me
You say you do
You think you do
But you don’t even know yourself
You don’t really love me

The years flew past
I clung to the lie
Believed you’d wake up eventually
Open your eyes and see
What you’re really doing to me
I hate myself for buying into this

One look at your face and I know
You don’t really love me
You say you do
You think you do
But you don’t even know yourself
You don’t really love me

Counting the lines on my face
Shouldn’t I be wiser by now?
No denying I lived in hell
Disguised as heaven, how stupid I was!
Punch me in the face
Move on now or stay stupid forever

One look at your face and I know
You don’t really love me
You say you do
You think you do
But you don’t even know yourself
You don’t really love me

One look at your face and I know
You don’t really love me
You say you do
You think you do
But you don’t even know yourself
You don’t really love me

It was the two of us against the world
Bond of the heart, secret words
Restless nights, restless days
Peaceful all the same

Now my home is empty
And my heart thumps heavily
The nights are endless, the days are bleak
Got nothing to do, not even in my sleep

I loved you, lost you
And I still do
Day and night
I pay the price of love

I told you so many times
You answered with your eyes
The world was a better place
When I had you in my arms

I held you when you left
Still feel the weight and warmth
I had direction and a goal
Swimming with the tide

I loved you, lost you
And I still do
Day and night
I pay the price of love

An empty shell now
Walking down the road
Let me see your life again
Me feel your love just one more time

I loved you, lost you
And I still do
Day and night
I pay the price of love

I pay, I pay, I pay
The price of love