LYRIC FOR SALE

By SMR

My perception of all that surrounds me and the feelings from within are heightened
Everything fights me and binds me to an unmoving state of constant pain
The faintest sounds hurt my ears and drown out my voice as I scream out for even God to hear
There seems to be nothing but noise, calamity and chaos here
So how can I ever persevere?

My heart is broken
My mind filled with gaps
My judgement full of lapses
My vision opaque
My skin riddled in gashes
And my soul torn

I can no longer perceive what truly surrounds me
I perceive only what frightens me
Which multiplies my insecurities and drowns me in uncertainty
Can I ever be free of all that is haunting me?
Or will I succumb to the pain and once more reach that cursed state
Which made me crave for relief so intensely, I sought to enter an eternal sleep
Where I could finally breathe, in one sense at least
As I was convinced in that insanity, this to be the only way that I could ever be free
No matter what my rational mind would tell me

My heart is broken
My mind full of gaps
My judgement full of lapses
My vision opaque
My skin riddled in gashes
And my soul torn

I’m being watched
I perceive it
I’m being judged
I feel it
I’m scared to breathe
In every mirror I see them looking right through me
I’ve gone insane
They have infested my brain
And in this delirious state of my desperate self hate
To peel off all my shame
I pierced my skin with my own nails
With which I have sealed my own fate in this coffin of shame where I now lay
There seems to be no escape

My heart is broken
My mind full of gaps
My judgement full of lapses
My vision opaque
My skin riddled in gashes
And my soul torn

I wish to right my mistakes and rise anew
But I’m not brave and I have lost all faith
I just wish to be saved but it doesn’t work that way
I know that only I if anyone can take myself out of this state
But I’m so afraid
What if I fail?
Just what other pain might my future contain?

I’m fighting a thousand fears
Yet I am winning against none
I’m so overwhelmed
It feels like there is nothing that can be done
Time is passing by and I’m no longer that young
I wish to do so much but my mind has me petrified
Stuck in time and in life
Each day I feel more ashamed for which I am to blame
Everything overwhelms me so how can I ever be okay?
Could I ever overcome all this pain?

When my heart is broken
My mind full of gaps
My judgement full of lapses
My vision opaque
My skin riddled in gashes
And my soul torn

Parts of me are missing
I feel it in my bones
I’m getting closer and closer to having lost all hope