Erase me
By Diugu
I wake up tired, like sleeping was a lie,
staring at the ceiling, wishing to disappear this time.
Body feels paralyzed, mind screaming "move",
but i´m stuck in this loop where i´ve got nothing to prove.
Guilt tapping my shoulder like "get your shit done",
but depression got me chained, I can´t even run.
Every task feels heavy, like i´m dragging a corpse,
and the corpse is me- yeah, i´m dead at the core.
I don't live, i just breathe and decay,
watching life pass by while i rot in one place.
Heartbeat don't mean i'm alive in this skin,
i'm just stuck in a body that i don't fit in.
Used to smoke just to numb it, now it don't even hit,
nothing cuts through this fog, i'm just done with this shit.
Nausea all day, pain wired in my chest,
like my body's at war and it won't let me rest.
Mirror shows a face i don't recognize anymore,
just a weaker, broken version i can't ignore.
Somebody who was meant to be something more,
now i can't even get my ass up off the floor.
Can't study, can't cook, can't even sleep half the time,
sleep disappears like my will to survive.
People say "try harder"- they don't get the weight,
like i'm buried alive and expected to break.
I feel like a glitch that was never designed,
like i slipped through the cracks and got left behind.
Every room i walk in, i just drain the light,
like my presence alone makes everything die.
I don't wanna die- i wanna erase,
every trace of the person i failed to replace.
There's a difference yeah- but it's lost in the noise,
like i'm screaming in static with no fxxxing voice.
There's a version of me that i buried alive,
still scratching the walls somewhere deep inside.
I can hear it sometimes, when the silence gets loud,
but i choke it back down just to blend in the crowd.
If i dig any deeper, i might hit the truth,
but i'm scared what's left isn't even me anymore.
So i stay in this state where i fade not fall,
just a shadow stretched out on a bedroom wall.
Not alive, not dead- just a glitch in the code,
someone who lingers but doesn't belong.
