Reactance
By Leeaza S.
[Intro]
Tears streamed like a broken waterfall.
As I packed my past into my bags, leaving a house that never felt like home.
A house with no pictures on the wall
where memories fail to form
and peace that can never be restored
a foreign land, like the Israelites in Egypt,
I was a stranger and did not belong.
[Verse 1]
I tread softly down the stairs,
So he wouldn’t hear me slip away.
Each step carries memories—
laughter, that once brought tears to my eyes,
now turned into tears of pain.
Joy that bloomed in my heart without reason,
ceased to come in the morning.
A love that once lived in action,
now lingers in words, void of significance.
[Verse 2]
Hand on the knob, one turn that will set us free
When the sorrowful voice rises behind me,
“Baby, don’t leave.”
I can’t meet his gaze because in their depth,
My pain would fade,
and I’d forget why I need to leave
and search for reasons to stay.
With a slow release of the door handle,
My packed bags crashed to the floor.
I walked towards him,
drifting further from the door.
[Bridge]
Our hearts shattering like glass
The sound filling the silence
If you want me to stay,
at least let me be honest.
My mouth opens, but the words crumble like dust before they can be heard.
How do I tell him?
How do I tell him that love isn’t enough?!
How do I make him listen?
How do I tell him that even in his arms,
even when we make love,
I feel distant?
As the Atlantic is from the Pacific,
two bodies of water that will never touch
[Verse 3]
That, he drains me like a battery
until there’s nothing left but the last spark.
But I won’t put it all on him.
I have also played my part.
Now it’s time to stop pretending,
to stop holding on when we’ve already fallen apart.
[Outro]
Before my thoughts could shape into words
his eyes found mine as if he already accepted what I couldn’t say
Then he gently let go of my hand
“Your silence speaks volumes, and I do understand.”
He grabbed my bags and tossed them aside,
insisting that I stay.
“Last time, you tried to leave,
But this time, I’m walking away.”
[Aftermath]
I stood frozen, watching him go,
His back turned to me like a closed door.
And now that he’s gone, the weight of reactance settles in
His absence pulls me closer.
I want him here,
but still…
I want us to rescind.
Standard License:
